The weapon of art or art as a weapon?

Plate 1 of 22 plates of "Splendor Solis", an alchemical manuscript from around 1582. Arma = weapon, ars = art, artis = of art.

"The Creative Act" Rick Rubin, chapter "point of view"

"The goal of art isn´t to attain perfection. The goal is to share who we are. And how we see the world. 

Artists allow us to see what we are unable to see, but somehow already know. It may be a view of the world singularly different from our own. Or one so close, it seems miraculous, as if the artist is looking through our own eyes. In either case, the artist´s perception reminds us of who we are and who we can be."

There has been a scandal for the Catholic church in Cologne, in Germany. The Archbishop Cardinal Rainer Maria Woelki commissioned a report on sexual abuse committed by clergymen and priests of the parish of Cologne. He wanted complete openness. However, when the report was finished and delivered, the Cardinal decided not to publish it. The report has been kept locked away for more than a year. The public has understood that it contains ugly details and names of high-ranked officials involved in the process of covering up, protecting, and transferring perpetrators from one parish to the next. Jesus Christ stands for love and compassion. There is no sign of this in the church. In addition, the Catholic church avoids to take responsibility. This has led to a lot of frustration and disappointment. There will be no truth or closure for the victims or their families. Most of the victims were children when the abuse happened. Sorry, no Makarrata here. Lots of Catholics have left the congregation/church or have walked out of jobs and assignments for the church, now.

"Sade dis moi purquoi le sang pour le plaisir? Le plaisir sans l´amour" from "Sadeness" Enigma. Why is the "blood"-issue in there? When and where did the Marquis de Sade (Jane Doe,..., Svetlana Sorokina) cause any bleeding? In the lyrics it says “Cum angelis et pueris, fideles inveniamur We shall find the faithful in the company of angels and children”. But pueris are not "children", it is "boys" in English. These lyrics are in French like parts of "Domingo" by Yello. The French language is also associcated with Gilles de Rais, the man who sexually abused and murdered mostly male children.

Some years ago, when I still had my own practice, I had a female patient. She had taken her little son along. He was probably four months old. He was sleeping in a pram in my office. There was some, decorating activity somewhere in the building. Someone started to drill into the concrete directly under the floor of my office. This made a sudden and unexpected noise. The little boy was scared awake. He started to cry. To my horror his mother enjoyed it a lot! She smiled. She did not walk over to comfort him either. I realized that this was how my mother must have enjoyed giving med physical pain, when I was a baby.

What are "Sympathy For The Devil" (Rolling Stones) and the opening of the gates of hell in the Enigma music video about? There may be Gabriel with the original sin on Jane Doe´s side. The original sin was about the sexual abuse of a girl. Why are there no children in "Splendor Solis" besides two on plate 12 - Saturn Feeding the Dragon? The child in the flask is giving the dragon oil to drink and provides it with oxygen to produce flames. And there is the little child being abducted on the coach of Saturn. You have small children again in plate 20 - Child´s Play. It is the plate where the children play indoors guarded by two nannies.

Let´s go back to the fairy tale of "Hansel and Gretel" for a minute. The evil witch kept Hansel, the boy in a cage. She fed him and checked regularly on him to see if he got any fatter. She intended to eat him/feed on his power, while Gretel the girl was turned into a servant or slave. The witch checked Hansel´s finger to see if he had gained any weight. Maybe you wonder about her checking a finger and not his belly or thigh? A finger does not gain so much fat. But this is the censored version of the text. Fairy tales were told to the entire family gathered in front of the fireplace in the evening. It was before there were books, radio, TV, or the internet. When the story was told the adults in the room knew that the witch really checked on Hansel´s penis. She checked if he could get an erection, a hard-on. 

Why was it extraordinarily dirty, in my dream of the dimly lit almost dark space that I related to be Jane Doe´s with all the dirt swept under the carpets? Why is it always raining, bad weather, and night-time on her side? ... The weird lyrics of "Christianity" by the Wolfgang Press always have and still confuse me. There has been Bryan Ferry with "Cruel", then Propaganda with their song "Duel": "The passion dies sweet little deaths, just have been lies, some memories of gone by times will still recall the lies ... The first cut won`t hurt at all, the second only makes you wonder, the third one will have you on your knees ...". What will have me on my knees? There is the ever-recurrent theme of sexual abuse in my text. I told you I still perceived that Jane Doe felt fear even though we were through with the magic theme. I am the broom from Goethe´s poem "The Sorcerer´s Apprentice". You cannot stop me from cleaning, decluttering, and clearing out once you have cast a spell on me.

Oh God, everything could have been different, if only she had made some other decisions! This is how she went down the empathy mountain. She is the coachman on the carriage of Saturn/Cronus in plate 12 in "Splendor Solis". She is abducting the infant, carrying a druid´s sickle for the castration process of the child and the caduceus to put parents and peers to sleep to be able to commit the abuse. "Model citizen in every way" ("Rise" by PiL). She had to convince the parents to leave their precious boys in her custody, just like my abuser did with my mum. He also was a "model citizen in every way".

The abuse is something different than the silly magic theme. This is considered a crime in our Western societies. You can go to prison for this. In case you don´t know, the hip-hop producer Russel Simmons emigrated to Bali/Indonesia to avoid a trial for sexual predation/assault/rape in the U.S.. From my personal experience I know sexual abuse hurts on a deep level. It destroys trust in the other(sex). The physical pain that I still fear, I will always attract or experience. My abuser also gave me: "It´s your fault; you have to take responsibility". It´s not true. It has never been my fault. I think my abuser/sexual predator is long dead. A prison sentence for him would not have made any difference for me. Without this process that I´m on this event would still be unconscious to me. I cannot remember details. John Doe knows. He was shown the abuse. However, it is good to know that anything like that happened at the age of 3 3/4 years. It gave me some insight and understanding about myself. And even though I cannot recall the event in my conscious mind it had a profound effect. It was the origin for my problems with recurrent sinusitis. Maybe the affected person is helped when he knows that this happened to him. 

Maybe a meeting in person and an apology will help these boys or men to move on in their lives. It is time for Makarrata, radical truth telling and peace-making. Take some responsibility. Make a difference for them and don´t take the way of the Catholic church in Cologne. "Walk through the valley" (PiL, "Rise"). If it will be prison or some sort of financial compensation you will have to face it. If nothing is done the perpetrator will always be stuck on plate 14 of "Splendor Solis", the plate of war. Don´t forget Russel Simmons, Africa Bambaataa, my grandfather, the architect Adolf Loos like Jane Doe also tried to help and empower others. Who knows what reasons they had for having to abuse children or young women and destroy their lives? I begin to feel sorry for them. And I get an idea about the second person who I noticed in the VW going down the empathy mountain at high speed in my dream. But I´m unable to face it now. It is too much for today.

The little bird inside the room in plate 20 of "Splendor Solis" has always confused me. I´ve never understood the reason for it to be there. There´s a deadly stealth hunter/predator for birds in the same room, i.e. it is the only plate with a cat. The cat is near the stove in the background. Is the bird supposed to be the shadow from plate 13 - Jupiter the Three Birds? There the black bird is kept down by the other two birds in the flask. While here in this room the shadow, the black bird is almost free to roam and rule. Many years later at a museum, I learned that the black bird is often depicted as a raven or crow. The bird represents an immoral lifestyle. In medieval times the raven had a connection to the supernatural realm and to black magic, death, and prophecy. In Greek Mythology it is a symbol of death, destruction and war. Apollo turned the colours of this bird from white to black. 

The lyre of Hermes is placed besides the nanny in the red dress. Whenever I write the name of this musical instrument in English, I see the Norwegian word for "to deceive" in front of me "å lure". It would have been too obvious to have placed a sickle or caduceus besides the woman. I wonder how many of my songs were made with this lyre?

Some weeks later I read the Wikipedia entry on Jane Doe. It says that she doesn´t like to be equated with a “dragon lady”. These ladies are often from Southeast Asia. Wikipedia tells you they are strong, deceitful, domineering, mysterious, and often sexually alluring women. The description fits.

Easter 2021

I consider wizard number 1 to be an old, conservative-minded man. There was nothing fresh or interesting about him. 

Spoiler Alert: Wizard number 2 is much more fun to read!

At the time I wrote this  I didn´t know that this was becoming a regular thing.

Acknowledgment of being an abuser and the atonement for it is painful. She´ll lose fortune, fame and followers and reputation. This will never happen. And it will be hard or impossible for her to live like a teacher, black belt, master, or example for her students. She has never tried. Remember, there is only deceit on her side, no truth at all. And there is a mollusc there, someone without any backbone who considers herself to be a victim. 

I have a problem now. How can I still love this person? How am I supposed to embrace this issue? In a rare direct conversation with God, he told me I didn´t have to love her. I still believe I must do exactly that. There is a big element of "It is my fault; I have to take responsibility" on my side. I don´t know the reason for it. I´ve written before that I think it is something the abuser has installed. And then you should love the abuser and I still feel I have to undo the original sin. How on earth am I supposed to do that? On the other hand, I was told, I was Jane Doe´s salvation. She was never interested in any salvation. Never once did she try to contact me in any way. Like John Doe she has had her chances, she hasn´t taken any. 

"... desire you feel must be satiated is the cause of all suffering. And suffering is the cause of all violence. Eliminate suffering and violence goes away, evaporates, dissolves, disappears." ("Conversations with God, Book 4", cap. 11, p. 67). On the previous page God tells Neale Donald Walsch that violence disappears from the cultures of Highly Evolved Beings because all anger has disappeared from their reality. They know that they have nothing to lose by being good and kind and caring and compassionate and unselfish and giving and accepting and unconditionally loving in every instant of every moment of every circumstance or situation. You probably understand that Highly Evolved Beings would be considered fools in our society. But anybody can see I´m not there at the moment. I have too much anger in me. As an adult I´ve never wanted to physically attack anybody, but here I have an urge to punch her in her face. Thank God, the universe, the ALL, Love, it has never got as far as marrying her or that she is anywhere close to my place. 

04/08/21 The Subs "Decontrol" (Aquarius Heaven Remix) from Andrew Weatherall - Masterpiece (One O´clock Drop)

If the original sin is on Jane Doe´s side, then why is my soul a berserker or Hulk Hogan? Jane Doe and I, we share the same energy pattern. Hector and Achilles were both berserkers on the battlefield. Where does the anger in my soul come from if there was no original sin? Was it a female incarnation in my soul who got sexually abused/assaulted by the one who committed the original sin (Jane Doe´s, Svetlana Sorokina´s, Gabriel´s, Lucifer´s side)? Is this the reason for the dirty crystal ball on plate 4 of "Splendor Solis" having a face? Is it the face of an abused woman?

I must tell my infant shadow woman that she´ll never come out of the shadow if she continues to embrace or crave Jane Doe as a mother figure. Jane Doe does not allow the female issues to emerge in me. Like my mother she doesn´t want them. There is no love for my female issues there. Please, get it.

This is the reason for me that everything appears to be so dirty. It is the opposite what I want to achieve and look at. It seems disgusting. Like the freemason you appear as something completely different at the front.

I know that Jane and John Doe should have done this process together. Why should it have been them? I was only supposed to be the back-up. Teresa of Ávila is in Jane Doe´s soul and St. John of the Cross has been on John Doe´s side. In their human lifetimes now, they should have worked together as well. Where should John and Jane Doe have ended up? I think they would have reached the same conclusion. John Doe/St. John of the Cross would subconsciously have asked Jane Doe/Teresa of Ávila to be his mum. She would have agreed to this. And they would eventually have arrived at the sexual abuse of male children, too. John Doe would have realized that he loved an abusive, psychopathic mother figure with Jane Doe. And that his own mother must have been like that. He has learned this as an infant, too. Like me he would have recognized this pattern in Jane Doe again. He equates this behaviour with love. Though there is no love there. There are three women on plate 20 not just two. There is a woman in the adjacent room in the far back. I always thought this might be me watching. But it is not. It is Jane Doe with the lyre, my mother and for sure John Doe´s mother in the background. There is no end to this shit. He was abused by his mother as well. How nice to know! This must have been the reason for him hating me touching his penis when I was asleep (an incident of Book 1). Why doesn´t he feel any pain of this abuse? He told me at [...]:"This one is not allowed to see this". This was probably an attempt to hide or protect his penis. This insight dragged me down. I felt horrible. How could anyone have done this to him? What is the higher good in experiencing this? What should he and Jane Doe have done with this information? Is it possible that John Doe subconsciously gives all women: "The woman is the deceiver" because of this experience? Or he might blame every woman with "It is your fault". He does not tell me that I have to take responsibility though. We already know he has the pattern "I don´t take responsibility". He cannot show any anger either. He has the pattern "emotions will be sanctioned". Therefore, he appears to me like a female or "weak" character. What is his job in this process? 

I have not written anything about these two. But I remember them. 

Number three was nothing special. He was just surprised that a woman can get wet down there. He commented twice with "Long time no see". I think he only has to blame himself for that his sex life doesn´t exist. 

Number 4 or maybe number 5 (I don´t exactly remember the order) though was strange. When he came in he did not want to touch me. I told him that he had to to turn me on. But he refused. I thought a mistake had occurred. Somehow a homosexual/gay man had gained access. How did this happen? He felt disgusted touching a woman down there. I did it for him. And then he began to enjoy this VERY much. I wonder what it must be like to have sex with this guy in real life.

11/13/21 The the "Out Of The Blue (Into The Fire)"

...

Don't tell me what your name is
I want your body, not your mind,
I want a feeling, worth paying for before I say goodbye
But as I was talking, I couldn't look her in the eyes,
I just kept wondering,
How many men unleashed their frustration between her thighs?

There'll be no sleep 'til the morning
There'll be no lullabies
'cause the devil borrowed my clothes just for tonight

...

Well I didn't wanna hurt your feelings, honey
But I couldn't suppress my own,
I had to pull myself outta this nosedive
by proving something to myself.

She was lying on her back
with her lips parted.
Squealing like a stuffed pig
I was going through the motions
faking the emotions,
and wriggling around like a lizard in a tin.

Trying so hard to cleanse myself,
I was turning into somebody else.
I was trying so hard to please myself,
I was turning into somebody else.

...

Jane Doe has done psychotherapy and/or -analysis. I don´t think she told the truth to any of her therapists about what was really going on inside of her and what was her inherent core nature. Thomas had to do some analysis, too, in order to do the work he wanted. He went to an analyst who lived far away. He never told her about being sexually abused as a boy and that he had fantasies of having sex with little girls. He told her instead that his inherent core nature was that he was gay. He had problems coming out of the closet. It wasn´t true at all. You can´t advance or grow if you are not true to and about yourself. And then it had to be these two of all people in my story who wanted to do the individuation process of C.G. Jung. At the same time, it was them who backed out and lied to everyone. 

In case you wonder: "... Individuation is the process where the individual self develops out of an undifferentiated unconscious - seen as a developmental psychic process during which innate (congenital, inborn) elements of personality, the components of the immature psyche, and the experiences of the person´s life become, if the process is more or less successful, integrated over time into a well-functioning whole. Other psychoanalytic theorists describe it as the stage where an individual transcends group attachment and narcissistic self-absorption." [Wikipedia]

C.G. Jung thought that this is not a way to develop a perfect but a complete personality. I read about the process on various sites on the internet. The texts always stated that only a few people want to do the individuation process. Believe me, I understand it. I want to slam Athena´s shield and Hermes´s sandals in front of the Gods´feet. You can have everything back. I quit! The task seems to be impossible at least for me. John Doe and I were never asked if we wanted to do any "individuation". I always thought this had to do with some kind of spiritual advancement and helping him and Jane Doe to rise to fame. However, John Doe was eager to have a night of revelation. The price to pay for this night may be that you are in for some nasty surprises later. I have no idea.

I had a quick look at YouTube and the trailer of Jane Doe´s podcast "..." published this week. I couldn´t believe how composed she was. This was contrary to me. The last weeks have shocked me to the core. My helpers told me Jane Doe still had to deceive. She couldn´t give away her real feelings. There were "important" people from her cult, maybe her [employer] watching and then all the followers. We guessed that she must have been on pills, drugs or alcohol when she recorded the podcast. All the people, whom she provided with this script, will be monitoring her closely, too. They will read her social media feed. There will be messages and clues for me and or about this process, while I don´t even care to read her posts any longer. And therefore, I still think the Buddhists will pay me a visit this year. She has to make up a plot of the script and give all the references to music on her own now. It won´t be so easy. And I think some people are going to doubt that I am the author.  

05/19/21 The PoguestrA & friends, "The Body Of An American" (Shane MacGowan). The lyrics are about a funny funeral of a great American boxer. The band name the Pogues refers to the Gaelic words Pogue Mahone meaning "kiss my behind".

The butterfly is on at least two plates of "Splendor Solis". It might be on plate 2 - The Philosopher and His Flask, Plate 10 - The Dismembered Body with a Golden Head and it unfolds and shows it wings on plate 20 - Child´s Play. I think it represents John Doe. My helpers always compared him to a giant tortoise. They considered John Doe to be a geriatric creature and an extremely slow mover. Tortoises have no real teeth to bite with. They are harmless animals. When they get scared or attacked, they retract into the safety of their shells. You see, they are like spineless snails/molluscs. The butterfly probably indicates the sexual abuse of John Doe by the mother figures or nannies on plate 20.

This is plate 11 of "Splendor Solis", the Boiled Philosopher Rejuvenated. The butterfly in the lower left corner is called for "painted lady" in English. It is the most common butterfly in the world. It is also found it in North America. It can be called for "Cosmopolitan", too. This does not represent me, but Jane Doe. She has to paint herself, i.e. put make-up on every morning. I always thought that it is me who is boiling the "philosophers". I equated Jane and John Doe with the philosophers on plate 6 of "Splendor Solis" earlier. And I am the only person working here. It must be me who is feeding the fire (sending love). God equates love equates fire from the empyrean. The fire made to boil people for the alchemical process of nigredo (decomposition). The boiling process represents "the dark night of the soul" and the confrontation with the shadow within. There is a pair of lovebirds in the frame, too. A dove representing the Holy Spirit,  Aphrodite or love sits on the head of the philosopher who is being boiled. 

This was MAGIC. I just connected to this man. I could completely trust him. He respected my wishes all the time. He never crossed the line. He was polite and asked every time he wanted to advance. This was even better than with Jane or John Doe. I had to practise with them first in order to get a connection. Here it just worked beautifully by itself. It felt like ballet dancing.

I couldn´t understand how and why a decent person like him was associated to the magic cult. I asked him about it. I didn´t get an answer to my question. I have considered the possibility that this wizard is a woman. I do not know.

It took some time for me to realize. But (s)he must have been a master of the sex magick associated with your cult. Nice!

10/21/22 Peter Gabriel "Sledgehammer"

Show me 'round your fruit cage
'Cause I will be your honey bee
Open up your fruit cage
Where the fruit is as sweet as can be

I wanna be your sledgehammer
Why don't you call my name?

Some of my song lyrics that still confuse me, e.g. Simple Minds, at the end of "Don´t You (Forget About Me)" it says: "Vanity and security". In "New Gold Dream" it is "She´ll be your friend until the bitter end". Why does it have to be a bitter end? In Adele "Skyfall": "I know I´d never be me without the security of your loving arms keeping me from harm" contradicts with "You may have my number, you can take my name, but you´ll never have my heart." The lyrics of Bryan Ferry´s "Avonmore" follow...

It is all so nice and positive again, isn´t it? Like with Russel Simmons the great philanthropist of hip-hop, Jane Doe can hide her intentions behind the mask of being a [...] teacher. Who on earth will believe my story? Like the women Russel Simmons abused, no one will believe me either.

However, I´ve now learned there is another psychopath trying to suck every bit of life out of me. I love to give. Just ask me and you will be given for free.

I remembered that Jane Doe advised me to buy a book at a bookstore in Amsterdam in 2018, the best seller "Women Who Run With the Wolves". The author Clarissa Pinkola Estés is a senior Jungian Psychoanalyst. The book was disappointing. I didn´t understand the stories, fairy tales or their interpretations. I never finished it. If you want to run with the wolves, why

don´t you? What keeps you from doing that? I don´t understand it.  I still have the book. It has magically survived the frequent decluttering frenzies of the past years. The wild woman archetype can be called "the friend" (Blondie, "Long Time": "I can give you a friend, I can make you think everybody wants to be your friend") or the "woman who lives at the edge of the world". I now get that I am seen as this woman. I am deeply envied for that. Clarissa Pinkola Estés states in the introduction that "in order to apply a good medicine to the hurt parts of the wildish psyche, in order to aright relationship to the archetype of the Wild Woman, one has to name the disarrays of the psyche accurately." I have been doing that for Jane Doe the last year. 

The author then provides you with a never-ending list of all the signs for being out of alignment with the wild woman archetype, i.e. if you have lost her instincts. Here are only some of them: feeling dry, fatigued, frail, depressed, confused, gagged, frightened, weak, without inspiration, animation, and soulfulness, without meaning, being uncreative, compressed, crazed. Feeling powerless, chronically doubtful, shaky, blocked, unable to follow through, inability to pace oneself or set limits, life-sapping choices in mates, work, or friendships, fear, anxiety and so on and so forth. This sound like a victim mentality to me. 

The other extreme then, the wild woman is praised and compared to the wolf. She is robust, chock-full, possesses strong life force, is inventive, loyal, roving, ... With a wild woman "an ally, as leader, model, teacher we see, not through two eyes but through the eyes of intuition". This way you can e.g., find one´s pack, establish territory, and are able to speak and act in one´s behalf. The praise goes on and on and on in the book. This character is focusing on the positive side of life. She doesn´t consider herself to be a powerless victim. "Conversations with God, Book 4", cap. 31, p. 205: "Freedom is not getting what you want, it is wanting what you get."

Dear reader! How much do you think has passed over from this wild woman archetype to Jane Doe´s side? In my opinion very little! Why is it important to be this archetype, if you belong to an occult community that thinks it possesses, has discovered, and harnessed all the magical crafts and forces of the Universe? I don´t understand! In addition, the wild woman archetype does not work with being ambitious for personal wins, or aligns with fortune, fame and followers. You have to give a damn what other people think of you to become this archetype. Being independent from other people´s ideas belongs to the solar plexus chakra. And in order to strenghten your throat chakra you have to live your truth! On what planet do you live if you think a wild woman will hide her truth? 

At the end of the "Book of Love 1" songs appeared from a band called The Wolfgang Press. The name Wolfgang means the way of the wolf. These songs belonged to Jane Doe. In her the traits of the wolf were repressed, eliminated, or squashed out like an orange. 

I think it just started to rain heavily on the drowning king (queen) in the background of plate 7 in "Splendor Solis".

Willpower and determination are connected to the solar plexus chakra. There has been no email asking for another update of my script, yet. If these magicians are so powerful and advanced, why do they have to wait for one of my memory sticks/USB flash drives or an email from my side to arrive? Can´t they manifest the script out of thin air on their side? They should be able to read it in their crystal balls or have access to it in the collective unconscious as well, shouldn´t they? 

What about having a game of football/soccer with a crystal ball, now? I don´t mind any longer what becomes of the script or me. "We never took shit from no one; we just didn´t give a fuck. If you didn´t like our music, that was just your bloody hard luck." (Die Toten Hosen "Carnival In Rio (Punk Was)"). These lyrics are at the start of Book 1. Dear magicians! Feel free to make my life hell. I suggest you start by sabotaging the heating. The task should be easy even for new beginners. The housing estate has almost run out of gas. I´ve just ordered a delivery. It´ll take some days to arrive here. In the meantime, you can make us extremely miserable and freeze in our houses. 

written at the beginning of March 2021

What kept me from becoming a witch? I don´t know, yet. "I could be white I could be black" (PiL, "Rise"). Think about the hermaphrodite on plate 9 of "Splendor Solis". The female part holds the egg. No one knows what kind of bird will hatch from it? It could be the fake triple-headed eagle of plate 14 or the peacock on the plate of love, plate 16, any other bird, dragon/reptile or Basilisk. It could be a real eagle like in "Owner Of A Lonely Heart" by Yes, a swan ("Oblivion" by M83, "Lips Like Sugar" by Echo & The Bunnymen), a dove, a winter wren, a parrot or a black and white magpie (Sorokin). For John Doe it went like this "Every night I dream the crow black dream" (The Cure, "Burn"). I think it is about his shadow.

Look at plate 15 in "Splendor Solis" - Sol the Triple-headed Dragon. The chariot of the sun is on top. This is my chariot! The zodiac sign of Leo is on its wheel. Archangel Michael is associated with the sun. The element of gold in alchemy belongs to the sun. You see male warriors training everywhere. A king in the background watches the training. Negotiations with foreign diplomats take place at the bottom of the page. The scene depicted is peaceful. But it is Jane Doe´s dragon in the plate. I have been training her/the king all the time. 

It also means that I am the red/solar king of plate 4. There is a sun over his/her head, Archangel Michael again. While on the other side it is a moon above the Lunar Queen. The moon belongs to Gabriel.

Do I now have to take the whole world to court like in "This Is Michael" (Phillip Boa & The Voodoo Club)? I do not want to. The Sodom and Gomorrah task and destruction of Medusas and sea monsters everywhere is a big enough workload for any "Wonder Woman". Thank you very much.  But probably I finally helped to free a woman in me? And you know what? "Anger is an energy" (PiL "Rise"). How could anyone be so cruel to come up with this plot?

I wrote earlier that Wikipedia states that Jehovah´s Witnesses and Seventh-day Adventists identify Jesus as Archangel Michael. And I know that Teresa of Ávila is an incarnation in the same soul as Jesus´. How come then that I saw this soul belong to Jane Doe and not myself? Is "Fools Gold" from the Stone Roses my song? I told you, that I do not have any number 15 in my life anywhere. Is it me who is the hermaphrodite from plate 9 in "Splendor Solis"? Is it me who is going to be the triple-crowned king of plate 7?

This can´t be true. The reason is that the Jesus figure from Jane Doe´s soul told me around Easter 2019 that all the incarnations of the soul he belonged to had always [section removed]. In case you wonder. I did not ask for this information. [...] I thought it was completely irrelevant for me to know that Teresa of Ávila had also been one. 

The songs "This Is Michael" by Phillip Boa & The Voodoo Club and "The Perfect Life" by Moby still belong to Jane Doe. In "This Is Michael" the Michael is described as dirty as the dirty friends. The Moby song is about taking drugs. I have no association to that. I was told that I was clean ("Clean" by Depeche Mode). I do not think this song was a lie. There also were these songs: U2 with «Zooropa»: «we´re mild and green and squeaky clean» and Tears for Fears» Sowing The Seeds Of Love»: «Could you be squeaky clean and smash any hope of democracy?»

I still think Svetlana Sorokina´s/Psycho Nikoros´ song "Zu Asche, zu Staub" belongs to Jane Doe even though it is in German. In the TV-series "Babylon Berlin" the character of "Psycho Nikoros"/Svetlana Sorokina plays a double game. Nikoros is the backward spelling of Sorokin. Svetlana knows about a train waggon full of real gold. She betrays her Russian partner who wanted to support Leon Trotsky with this gold. But Svetlana wants to keep the gold for herself. The name Svetlana means "shining, light, pure, luminiscent, holy". The Russian and Jewish surname Sorokin means magpie and can describe a thievish person or someone with a streak of white among black hair. What is this about?

How come all of you are still "dirty" like suggested in the lyrics of "This Is Michael"(Phillip Boa & the Voodoo Club)? Why has none of you reached the albedo stage of the alchemical process and become clean, yet?

"Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters" Metallica, "Nothing Else Matters"

Until now I haven´t looked at the philosophy of Thelema and its founder Aleister Crowley. It has seemed disgusting and awful. But I have to examine Thelema to understand the game that I´ve played with the magicians. How come they have seen anything valuable in me? I think Jane Doe and the magicians belong to an organization called for A.A.. I could be wrong.

One of the key figures in Aleister Crowley´s Thelema ideology is the Egyptian God Horus. Horus has a human body, but the head of a falcon. There are four falcons on plate 18 Luna the Red King and one more in the frame of plate 21 - Women´s Work in "Splendor Solis". Luna the Red King is the plate with the hunting scenes. There has been the Space X Falcon 9 rocket that is powered by the Space X Merlin engines in the script earlier. I found a feather of a falcon this summer. I have started to hunt the members of the satanic cult this year, 2021. There is a picture of a falcon on one of my calendars this month.  

There are some "laws" in Thelema:

1) "Do what thou wilt" or follow your True will.

This is not about the will of the ego or anything at the personality level. It is at a deeper level, the inmost self, the essence of yourself. When you live in accordance with your will the universe opens up, makes a path for you. The author Paolo Coelho and the writers of the "Kybalion" have also arrived at this conclusion. The process may involve uncomfortable choices. The process is gradual, slow and takes time. 

"Conversations with God, Book 1", cap. 3, p. 76: "Go first to your Highest Thought about yourself. Imagine the you that you would be if you lived that thought every day". 

2) Love is the law, love under the will.

This is the reason for the song of the Sisters of Mercy to be called "Temple Of Love". But it seems to be a different kind of love in the church of the Thelemites than for me. For them "Love is always over in the morning" from the same song. This refers to sex only.

"Conversations with God, Book 1", cap. 1, p. 56 about the laws of the universe: 

"3) Love is all there is." .... "Love is the ultimate reality. It is the only. The all, the feeling of love is your experience of God. In highest Truth, love is all there is, all there was, and all there ever will be. When you move into the absolute, you move into love."

3) Every man/woman is a star, independent in nature.

This is found in Jane Doe´s name ... I saw her as a star in outer space in one of my visions, too. There were many songs with "stars" as subjects. In Book 2 there were Yello with "Goldrush", Nina Hagen "Zarah (Ich weiss, es wird einmal ein Wunder geschehen)", Echo & The Bunnymen with "Nocturnal Me" and "In Bluer Skies". In Book 1 stars appeared in the lyrics of Hercules & Love Affair "Blind", Depeche Mode "But Not Tonight" and "Cover Me", Simple Minds "Hunter And The Hunted" and "All The Things She Said", Röyksopp "Compulsion", M83 "Oblivion" and "Holes In The Sky", Massive Attack "Antistar" and "Everywhen", U2 "Fly" and "Elevation", The B-52´s "Dancing Now" (John Doe´s song), The Orb "Little Fluffy Clouds", Madonna "Take A Bow" and Primal Scream "Higher Than The Sun" (Jane Doe´s song). 

There also are angels called for Seraphim, the burning ones. Teresa of Ávila reported that one of these pierced her heart with a spear with a bruning tip. She described the face of the angel being on fire. The term Seraph means serpent. They are of the highest order of angels in Christianity and described in the Book of Revelation. They are supposed to move the throne of God. These angels have six wings. They are described as fiery flying serpents ("Times are gone for honest men and sometimes far too long for snakes" Soundgarden, "Black Hole Sun"). Ignatius of Loyola had a vision of a snake that appeared full of eyes. He experienced this vision while meditating in the cave at Manresa. In the Book of Revelation, it is explained that the Seraphims are full of eyes within. These angels continuously praise the Lord. There are supposed to be four of them. "See me on all fours", "Inertia Creeps" by Massive Attack. Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite wrote about them that they hold "enlightening power, dispelling and destroying the shadows of darkness" (Wikipedia). I think Lucifer might belong to these. 

Satan/Lucifer is supposed to stand at the right hand of God. It is reported three times in the Hebrew bible. "Right hand to God first in command my testimony, when I take the stand" lyrics of "The Man" by the Killers. So, this was NOT a lie. From "This Is Michael" by Phillip Boa & the Voodoo Club: "... better go out of his worlds, he can take the world to court ... running away from time, the hour was lost". It was about what it could have been like for Jane Doe if she had made different choices earlier. Lucifer/Satan is an accuser, adversary in heaven. Satan directs accusations about the accused to God or the angel of the Lord. He must be valued if he is allowed to be at the right side of God. However, I do not understand. God loves everybody. What is God to do with the accused then?

And here comes the answer to my question. Satan is supposed to correct fellow men without wishing for their downfall and as a teacher of humility. Satan says in the Talmud that there is work to do. Remember my martial arts dream at the start of book 1. I was told by Strongbow or Ignatius that building a New Earth will involve very much work. Satan is seen as the archetypal trickster Guru in the Talmud. This matches the idea of Prometheus or Mercury/Hermes. 

It is first in the New Testament that Satan is equated with the devil and evil. Satan is symbolized by a lion. He is a source of fear and he seeks to destroy (Shiva or Perseus again). However, Jesus´symbol is a lion, too. Satan and Christ share the symbol of the serpent as well!

In Thelema the "number of the beast" 666, dragons and a great beast, a dragon with multiple heads, a hydra or the dragon of plate 15 of "Splendor Solis" play a role. Satan is equated with a goat, capricorn, a vision of a universal peacock, the Baphomet, and the number 15 like in the devil card in Tarot, the eye, Saturn, Adam and the serpent. Lucifer can be seen as the morning or evening star. On the other hand Christ is perceived to be a slave to God. Crowley says there is no God but man. Another symbol of Satan it the black hole sun that I can sometimes see in front of my closed eyes. Crowley declares Satan to be the Sun God par excellence or equates him with Helios/Apollo (his coach is in plate 15 of "Splendor Solis"). Crowley composed a "Hymn to Satan": "I adore Thee, Lord of Malice". For Crowley Satan is connected to knowledge (of good and evil) and the sefirah of Kether. 

In the Book of Revelation Archangel Michael casts Satan out of heaven after a battle. Satan or the dragon/serpent is then chained for a thousand years. This fits to the Prometheus story as well. He was also chained to a mountain by his cousin Zeus/Jupiter. And there was the rage of a thousand years in the Queen song "It´s A Kind Of Magic".  

Aleister Crowley made his own set of Tarot cards. Thelema also holds an equation of Satan to 0 (zero) and the son of the Egyptian God Horus (Hoor-Paar-Kraat). 0 means annihilation, beyond all conception, outside the Kabbalah/Tree of life, beyond all duality. The element of air in the Tarot card number "0" means vacuum for Aleister Crowley. "When stone is dust and only air remains the only haven you can trust", the Sisters of Mercy from "Temple Of Love". The Sefirah of Kether is also associated to Hoor-Paar-Kraat, the child of Horus, God of Silence, pure being aspect of nothing. All existence springs from here. This is a description of Eckhart Tolle´s "consciousness", too, or what I now believe to be the background or empty space of the universes or in any atom. In the lyrics from "Behave!" by Chumbawamba Satan/Lucifer is a zero as well. 

Aleister Crowley thought that Satan, Lucifer, Leviathan, Belial are worshipped in other religions as Jesus, Brahma, Allah or Buddha. He declares that these are the four great devils of the evil of the world. In Aleister Crowley´s philosophy Satan denies God and is seen as the father of lies. If that is true, then why on earth do I work on the truth theme like "Conversations with God"  and my song lyrics tell me to do? Ultimately the devil and/or God does not exist in Aleister Crowley´s universe. Lucifer spites the souls of saints [This is not true! We had all kinds of saints in here. Hildegard von Bingen is all over this book. There were Teresa of Ávila, Joan of Arc, Ignatius of Loyola, St. John of the Cross, ...]. The key of joy is disobedience for Lucifer/Satan [This is not true either. It is not disobedience but questioning everything, emancipating from all parent figures, finding the key, and helping others to freedom (e.g. Moses and the Pharaoh, Prometheus, Perseus)]. Now the lyrics of "Domingo" by Yello begin to make sense. 

And of course, like C.G. Jung Aleister Crowley was interested in alchemy as well. This is probably the reason for me to use "Splendor Solis". There also is a concept of the abyss in Crowley´s philosophy. The adept has to cross it. I dreamt about the void that I could never climb out of. Then there was the drawing of Joseph Campbell´s Hero´s Journey. It also contains the abyss at its lowest point. 

Crowley wanted to achieve unity of opposites like night and day, sun and rain, male and female, a conjunction of Satan and Christ and so on. He saw Satan as the twin of Christ. A kind of sacred marriage here, too.

In Thelema you try to establish contact with a Holy Guardian Angel (your higher self, the figure/diamond/stone in your soul, the unknown figure in your unconsciousness/sea). If you have established a link you can converse with the divine self. You have to practise yoga and meditation in order to get there. Jane Doe has practised [...] meditation since the ´70s. The Sisters of Mercy "Temple of Love": "The devil in the black dress [Jane Doe] watches over my Guardian Angel walks away". 

The Holy Guardian Angel (your higher self) in Thelema is seen as the constant companion. This companion is using subtle ways to communicate with you. You have to try to tune into the communication. It might be difficult to perceive the message of your angel. Dr. David Shoemaker compares it to a radio that tries to  tune into a station and only gets bits and pieces of information (like in "Channel Z" by the B-52´s or in "Angels Of Deception" by The the). Your aim is to make this a conscious conversation so that you can have a communication at will. The Sisters of Mercy "Temple Of Love":  "All your prayers must seem as nothing ninety-six below the wave". What does the number 96 indicate? "The angel number 96 is a message from your guardian angels, informing you that a phase of your life will end soon. They are asking you to accept that change and adapt to it as soon as possible because it represents a necessary phase on the path of fullfilling your soul´s purpose and mission" (from various websides: angelnumber.org, thesecretsofthetarot.com/angel-number-96 and angelnumbersmeanings.com). 

The adeptus minor is supposed to be at the sefirah of Tipharet while your Holy Guardian Angel sits at Malkuth. The adeptus minor has to move his head in the right place for this communication to work. Then the crown can be placed on your head. This must be about the "soul" stone, the diamond in your soul (Leftfield "Original"), the opposite figure in your unconscious in the yin- and yang-sign. I had concluded with this some chapters ago. I thought I might be the bridegroom at Tipharet and Lucifer the bride sits at Malkuth. 

"Conversations with God, Book 3", cap. 2, p. 59 on Satan. God tells Neale Donald Walsch that "Satan" was invented in the matiarchal societies. There were always children, most often boys who were bad to the core, the "rotten apple". It did not matter what the mothers did, these children did not comply to the rules of society. Men used these children to convince society that women needed protection from them and that it was only men who were capable to provide or offer protection for the women. Ever thereafter the figure of a male Satan was used to induce fear in mankind. God did not mention any Lucifer or fallen angel here. God tells Neale Donald Walsch in Book 1 and 2 that hell does not exist. Lorna Byrne tells you that the angels do not have a specific sex. They can appear as male or female however they choose to. The Lucifer in me is a male entity in my subconscious, in John Doe the fallen angel is female. 

The Sisters of Mercy "Temple Of Love": "With a gun [me] for a lover and a shot [alcohol/drugs] for the pain inside You run for cover in the temple of love". In Thelema like in the bible Lucifer/Satan holds destructive forces. Psalm 110:5 «The Lord stands at your right hand to protect you. He will strike down many kings when his anger erupts.» The eye of Shiva/the third eye chakra destructs. The awakening of this power is a monumental yogic achievement. In this destruction lies a blessing Yeah! I am a blessing for the magic cult, ain´t I?Like all of humanity they have just been waiting for someone like me all their lives. Finally, they get what they have been praying for. Now, that I have started to work on their cult, they don´t seem to like it. None of the magicians has contacted me so far to ask for my original "Books of Love". And this is even though they are major players in my epic story now. So, why did they pray for Satan/Lucifer (Shiva or Perseus) to appear in the first place? What did they expect Satan/Lucifer to do for them? 

Thanks to "The Principle of Satan in Thelema" by Joshua Adam Sharp, "Crowley, Thelema and the Aeon of Horus The Book of the Law´s Original Egypt" by Dr. Harrison/Profane Egyptology on YouTube, the "speech in silence" podcasts by Dr. David Shoemaker and thelemaquotes.wordpress.com.

09/30/21 Yello, "Of Course I´m Lying" and James, "We´re Going To Miss You".

I began to read the Book of Revelation. I was looking for information about the seraphims (angels) and the last days of the dragon. And somehow I understood parts of the text like this passage: «Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. So I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways. I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.» (New International Bible, «Book of Revelation», 2:20 – 23). The sexual immorality must refer to abuse and predation. Jezebel is a daughter of the King of Israel («The Book of Kings» in the Bible). She worships Baal (the devil?) and persecutes and exterminates the prophets of Yahweh (God/Love). In other words this is a description of a genocide like the Sand Creek massacre. The name Jezebel means «Where is the prince?» Indeed, this is the one-million-dollar question!

The Book of Revelation closes with: “Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city [Jerusalem]. Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.» («Book of Revelation», 22:14). I see Plate 21 Women´s Work of «Splendor Solis» in my mind. It is the plate with the women washing the linen.

10/15/21 Madness, «Sweetest Girl» from their album «Mad Not Mad» and James, «God Only Knows» from their album «Gold Mother». I love this one! Thank you, universe, Satan, Lucifer, whoever. There are the sheep/lambs in the lyrics again.

My Guru has been sleeping with adepts and with sheep
While I was fucking celibate, self-righteous in belief
Yesterday he was God, now he is a creep
We fell upon each other starving for belief

This is a song from "The Book of Love 1" Thievery Corporation with "Amerimacka" from their album "The Cosmic Game". One of the few American bands in my script.

But it only works until someone gets hold of the original version of this story. It must also be difficult to encourage me with posts on Instagram, to keep me motivated to write and send the script to her without revealing to everybody else that it is not working between us. When I watched the movie “Knives Out” at the cinema for over a year ago God wanted me to write that there was just one person in the movie with good intentions. This person was then equated with Jane Doe. I can tell you now, good intentions are never enough. There has to be more commitment and some actions than just intentions if you want to advance on the scale, take your soul upwards towards THE ALL, the one, God, Love. And unbelievably, the woman still is the deceiver. Does she produce 39 lies per day like some American Ex-President? Remember this script and my path are all about finding and telling the truth!

I think the pendulum is about to swing to the other side for Jane Doe soon. I get to listen a lot to “Fools Gold” by Stone Roses lately again. “Don´t tell me what´s going down, down, down....”. I get a hunch, a feeling, a notion that there is much more dirt on her side. Do I have to explore this? I will see what the universe wants me to do with it. At least, I will stop sending any more updates to her. In a few days the period of fasting before Easter starts again. Then there will be no social media for me for six weeks. I´ve tried to make an early start. I´ve deleted Instagram from my phone. The real challenge for me will be to be without sweets though.

And I have to face: What you see outside, you also have inside of you. What is in the macrocosm is also in the microcosm. Where is the woman deceiving on the inside in me?

02/12/21 Adele, “Hello” returns.  

02/13/21 The Stone Roses, “Waterfall”, Groove Armada (feat. She Keeps Bees), “Edge Of The Horizon”

Adele sings in “Set Fire To The Rain”: “But there’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew. All the things you’d say they were never true, never true. And the games you’d play you would always win, always win”. I also lost all the games in the lyrics of Phillip Boa & The Voodoo Club “Fine Art In Silver”. Then there was Dua Lipa with “Hotter Than Hell”. Why was it so dirty all around me in the dream I had when I wrote my script in the dimly lit cellar with the dirty mattress and the cobwebs everywhere?

We had the character of Svetlana Sorokina/Psycho Nikoros from “Babylon Berlin” who played a double game and then Barbara from “Wonder Woman 1984” who gained more and more power from Wonder Woman.

I´ve looked at Russel Simmons the hip-hop mogul lately. He has been the co-founder of the Def Jam record label. He sexually abused many young women. None of them dared to go to the police because a) they did not think they would have been believed and b) they thought they were the only one being sexually abused by him. They waited decades before they finally came forward. Russel Simmons is a vegan and practises Yoga and Transcendental Meditation. He supports many positive enterprises concerning animals, gay rights and education. He even was a UN goodwill ambassador. “Model citizen in every way” (PiL “Rise”). How could anybody believe the accusations of these women then? Even Oprah Winfrey pulled out of a documentary about the abuse, “On The Record” [Wikipedia].

I know by now that Jane Doe is probably equated with Achilles, the Greek hero. He was ambitious and wanted to be famous. Everything on Jane Doe´s side is about fame, fortune and followers and gaining power. There is no truth. I think she laughs about my efforts concerning the truth theme.

We had the Tarot card of no. 7 (VII) The Chariot. I believe it should have been Jane Doe´s card not mine. At the end of the interpretation, it said this card will help us triumph above the Devil card. I had to take a closer look at the devil.

“There is no finessing card #15, The Devil… The core of this card is a negative relationship that you have with someone or something… This card carries all of the negativity surrounding the twin terrors of addiction and co-dependency. Toxic substances, toxic relationships and our deep denial about the depth of our situation conspire against us…

No mistaking who that is perched on a stone pedestal. It is the beast himself. This man-beast has bat wings, ram’s horns, a grotesque hairy goat-like face, a shaved obese chest and hairy animal thighs that turn into talon-like claws that grip his pedestal. The background behind him is black as he raises his right hand as if to administer an oath and lowers a lit torch with his left hand. A metal ring is bolted to the concrete pillar he calls home. A woman and a man are chained to the ring. The chains are leashed onto their necks. The woman and man are naked and stare straight ahead.

There are other symbols that may or may not appear in the particular Tarot deck from which you receive your reading. The astrological symbol for Mercury may be tattooed on the Devil’s belly. The symbol for planet Saturn may be formed in the lines of his open right palm. There may be a pentagram floating above his head or tattooed onto his forehead. The words “Solve” (dissolve) and “Coagula” (thickening) may be emblazoned on his right and left arms respectively. In some illustrations of this scene, the woman has grown a leafy tail while the man has a tail with flames at its tip.

The Devil’s appearance is nothing short of that of a beast. The core point of interest is the chained man and woman. Their nudity is a metaphor for pleasure-seeking and shamelessness. The chains indicate that they are prisoners of a lifestyle of their own choosing. The Devil is simply a metaphor for the thing to which they have surrendered themselves: addiction, anger, lust, interpersonal emotional games disguised as love, etc. The Devil does not sit on a throne, but rather clings to an unadorned small pillar. The glamour these two pursued was an illusion all along. The Devil appears to be administering an oath, indicating that most people willingly go into serving the thing that enslaves them and build a loyalty to this vice. The many symbols that may or may not adorn The Devil in your Tarot deck all underscore the severity of servitude and the ruin caused by surrendering love to materialist and sensualist pursuits at the expense of all else. (www.keen.com, The Devil Tarot Card)

The word “coagula” is written on the banner of the Solar King in plate 4 in “Splendor Solis”. It says Coagula Maascenculium = masculine coagulation on it. Coagulation is also mentioned in “Conversations with God, Book 4” cap. 27, p. 169. A comment on metaphysics. God: “Life everywhere is composed of far more space than matter...Now when pure energy – the primal expression of Life that we will call the Essential Essence – coagulates, it transforms into what would be called, in human terms, “matter”.

The symbol of Mercury is not only tattooed on the devil´s belly but Mercury is also seen on Jane Does´s plate in “Splendor Solis”, plate 17 – Mercury The White Queen.

I understand I have been used in some kind of game by Jane Doe. But what´s puzzling me is the nature of this game (Rolling Stones “Sympathy For The Devil”). What did she do with my script and all the information she gained through channelling? Is she a member of a secret occult group, a shadow network like in Dan Brown´s book “The Da Vinci Code”? Is it because of this that Jane Doe appeared to be the triple-headed fake eagle/turkey in plate 14? Why is this “eagle” on the plate of Mars/War? What is the aim of this group? How does it align with her teachings on "...” and with being a ...?

“Whatever happened to Mary?” Chumbawamba, “Mary Mary”. There is the Hail Mary at the end of the song. It is played backwards. I am a child of the 80ies. Back then, there were rumours that some records if played backwards reveal a Satanic message in the lyrics. This was called for Satanic backmasking. I am out in deep, water here. Can this really be true? We had Glastonbury and its music festival all over in this book. Glastonbury is a sacred New Age Site. I know Jane Doe has experimented with the Ouija board. She has read books channelled by the entity called “Seth”. Therefore she might have got interested in ... . The "Seth" book was also channelled. I know that Jane Doe has been interested in stories about magic since childhood, …

Why was it made so, that I had to believe I had a connection to Archangel Gabriel all the time? You know, I have a problem with the angel theme. I don´t believe in them. I think somebody simply loved the association I had with her and Archangel Michael in November 2020. It must have been like the missing link, climax, culmination or epiphany of a philosophy. She probably also loved her association to the triple-crowned king in plate 7 in “Splendor Solis” and the association to the number 15. Number XV/15 also represents the tarot card with the devil. Which philosophy or cult is this? Who are their members?

“Some day soon they’re gonna pull the old town down” Simple Minds, “Belfast Child”

I had to sleep a night over this. It is not so difficult. In Book 1 I told you about Steilneset memorial for the witches in Vardø, Norway. Mercury on the coach in plate 17 of “Splendor Solis” holds a sickle in his hand. I love to read comic books. In the French Astérix comic book series you have a figure called for “Getafix” in English or for “Miraculix” in German and Norwegian. He is a druid. He always carries a sickle by his side. Usually, it sticks in his belt. He has a beard, is dressed in white and has a red cloak like one of the philosophers in plate 6 – The Alchemical Tree with Golden Boughs in “Splendor Solis”!

Druids use a sickle to cut mistletoes and herbs in the forest. For modern druids Glastonbury is one of the sacred places in Wicca (= Pagan Witchcraft). Then we had the picture by Hieronymus Bosch “The Adoration of the Magi”. The term resembles the word Magician.

Two quotations from Jane Doe: ... “Later, I learned that in days of old four-fifteen (in the morning) was considered the witching hour... We would all awaken at the same time and join with one another, and worship, and know” ... “Friday the thirteenth was the day the witches gathered.” ... . I also know Jane Doe  loves “Harry Potter”. The stories in these books are full of witches, magic, impressive wizards. She posted a link to a comedy programme [...]. There she was equated with Dumbledore, the principal of Hogwarts the boarding school of Harry Potter. Many people created memes of her with magical themes [...]. She loved these memes and put them out on her social media platforms. I understand why there are alchemists in the background on plate 13 – Jupiter The Three Birds. And I first now understand the use of orbs in “Splendor Solis”. Magicians have crystal balls. On plate 4 – The Lunar Queen and the Solar King the queen is standing on a crystal ball shaped object. The ball is very dirty. There are also crystal balls in the music video of Leftfield and John Lydon´s “Open Up”. Then there are Mercury/Hermes, “Splendor Solis”, “The Kybalion” and the philosophy of Hermeticism in my text lately and the video clips from the Esoterica channel on YouTube. There was a song containing a “Queen of the Nile” in the lyrics (Bryan Ferry “The Right Stuff”). They all have a connection to magic, the occult, to ancient Egypt.

"The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn is one of the most influential Western occult societies of the late 19^th century to early 20^th century. Like a meteor, it flared into light, blazed a bright trail and then disintegrated. Members included W. B. Yeats, A. E. Waite, Aleister Crowley and other noted occultists. The key founder of the Golden Dawn was Dr. William Wynn Westcott, a London coroner and a Rosicrucian.

In 1887 Westcott obtained part of a manuscript from a mason. The manuscript appeared to be old but probably was not. Westcott himself is believed to be the author. Westcott claimed he was able to decipher the manuscript and discovered it concerned fragments of rituals for the “Golden Dawn,” an unknown organization that apparently admitted both men and women.” www.occult-world.com. Do you remember the two stonemasons in the background of plate 17 – Mercury The White Queen? The queen in her flask is looking at them.

Jane Doe published some talks at the end of 2020 about the conjunction of planets Jupiter and Saturn and the closure of the year. There she said that great things will be happening in the New Year and that future generations will always look back on this period. At that time, she thought Archangel Michael was in her soul. Archangel Michael has an association to the Sefirah of Geburah “Strength” or “Power”. This Sefirah is female. But then again this was all a hoax. The story until then only contained lies to steal my mind. She should have listened to Leftfield´s “Open Up” once more.

Like with the angel theme, I do have a problem believing in magic, magick or the occult.

Everything appears to be so dirty. It is the opposite of what I want to achieve and look at. It seems disgusting. Like the freemason you appear as something completely different at the front. I think being a [...] is just a profession for Jane Doe. She just teaches these concepts with the aim to earn money for living and probably to hide her interest in black magic. The Wolfgang Press “Christianity”: "Telling me my life is easy, debauched and thirdly heaven sent. My heart was never theirs … Christianity has nothing for me” or New Order “I Told You So”: “It´s an occupation I don´t like, but it pays the rent and turns on the light.” This song appeared towards the end of the channelling with John Doe in Book 1.

02/27/21 Leftfield, “Dusted” from their album “Rhythm And Stealth”.

Madness, “(Don´t Let Them) Catch You Crying”: “I´ll be your stick when you´re battling the crowd”. This line referred to John Doe´s soul teaching me. And New Order ”5.8.6” from their album “Power, Corruption and Lies”: “In the future when you want me in your heart I won’t be there (help you), if you call out in the dark”. I do not believe John Doe belongs to this organization. I honestly can´t see him there. But it´s a pity that I can´t send my script to him or the unknown Buddhists, now.

I can feel that Jane Doe knows that I´ve found out. I am getting all nervous and agitated though I am calm. There is no threat anywhere around me. It ll be interesting to see how the universe is going to “pull off” a fight between Wonder Woman and the magicians/the hydra/prodigy/sea monster/Three-headed dragon from plate 15 in “Splendor Solis”? So, now I know I am standing alone like the triple-crowned golden king on plate 7 in “Splendor Solis”. Like with the rest of this process I ve no idea about what this will become. I am sure in for some surprises.

This is played on YouTube now: Massive Attack “Teardrop” and “Angel” in a live version. Recorded at, you guessed it, Glastonbury. The lyrics from “Angel”

You are my angel
Come from way above
To bring me love

Her eyes
She’s on the dark side
Neutralize
Every man in sight

To love you, love you, love you ...

You are my angel
Come from way above

To love you, love you, love you ...

The female part of the hermaphrodite on plate 9 in “Splendor Solis” holds an egg. Jane Doe chose to become the fake eagle on plate 14, the plate of war with the chariot of Mars on the top. As on the inside, so on the outside or as above, so below. There must be tension, stress, a huge workload, a lot of struggle and so on and so forth on her side. Everything is disintegrating. There also is a pandemic around.

I got to be the bird in plate 16, Venus – The Peahen transformed into a peacock. The plate that is all about love. And I feel loved. Only yesterday I received a parcel from my brother. Friends call, write letters and text messages, … It is peaceful around me. No pandemic. I agreed to work some days in March. I hope that I ll be able to do that. The swimming pool is still open. I use it often. If Jane Doe or anyone else in the occult group wants to burn me at the stake, then I probably can´t change it. But it is o.k. for me. I don´t mind dying.

PiL “Rise” “I could be black; I could be white”. We had the game of chess several times in my books. The drowning king on plate 7 in “Splendor Solis” stands in the rain. A king on a chess board has just some more movements than a pawn! I decided early on in this process to be on the team of God in the game of chess. After reading the “Kybalion” I also want to be the mover, not a figure on the board. But then again, I do not like the content of plate 7.

Let´s try to apply some [...] medicine. I know the book “A Course In Miracles” has many sections on Magic and how to distinguish it from a miracle. One example is

“A Course in Miracles – Manual for Teachers – 17. How Do God’s Teachers Deal with Magic Thoughts? ..."

02/28/21 Sam Smith “Nirvana” live at AB – Ancienne Belgique and Coldplay “Viva La Vida” (Live in Madrid 2011). The last one fits like hand in glove as they say in Norway.

It felt okay not to be aggressive towards the extremely toxic energy on the other side. Not condemning, but allowing it to be there, be passive towards it. I think death and disease are wished upon me from the other side. I think someone wants my script to disintegrate and never to appear anywhere again. I took a break from this process, cleaned my bathroom, wrote a letter, continued with a jigsaw puzzle, went to see a friend. I was surprised that my laptop still was in my house and that the house was still standing when I returned. Nothing had changed, disintegrated, burnt to the ground… By the way, the sun is shining today. Thank you, universe.

I got so thankful for John Doe and everything I had experienced with him. Without the channelling process I had experienced with him, I could never have held this peace. I would probably crouch in fear. I felt a massive wave of love for him. I was thankful for all the years I had with Thomas, too.

It seems to be a “Coldplay” day. If you watch the music video to “Champion Of The World” you can see planet Jupiter in one scene and the moon in others. I told Jane Doe that this was her song. I think this also fit perfectly into her philosophy. But in reality, this is probably my song. “I got E.T. on my bicycle”. Can you imagine Jane Doe on any bicycle? I honestly can´t. And it is me who stands before conquistadors now and jumps out into the universe with no parachute.

I know I have some great personality traits that the other side lacks. I have perseverance and endurance. I know what I want. I have discipline. I have trained my body well, … All of this helps me now. I try to give Jane Doe space like a child who is having a tantrum. I am not trying to resist, fight or escape it. And surprisingly this allowing or being passive towards her energy does not feel weak at all. And I can hold this space. It is like a miracle from “A Course In Miracles”. A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love.

And my process is still funny. I told Jane Doe at the end of my Book 1 that her soul had arrived at perfection both in male and female form before, but that these forces had not made it together yet. And that this was supposed to happen in her lifetime now. And it is done with love. I think the information gave her a boost in the secret society. But dear reader, can you imagine the sex practises she must have had in her (oc)cult (society) because I told her this should be done with love?

Coldplay, “Everyday Life” and Depeche Mode, “Judas”.

Later in the evening I felt incredibly sorry for her/pity. What an awful life it must have been to take this direction; to turn away from love this far. ...

My helpers wanted to celebrate a victory. There is no victory. Everyone has lost in this game. I´ve put a lot into this script, really my whole life the past three years. I honestly thought the lady was interested in me while I was only being pumped for information.

Some explanations:
- In occultism Saturn (Cronus) can be associated with evil. The Romans called Rome for Saturnia (Phillip Boa & The Voodooclub “Rome In The Rain";

“Roman Cavalry choirs are singing” from Coldplay´s “Viva La Vida”, When in Rome "The Promise", The Pogues "Sunnyside Of The Street", The the "Armageddon Days". On plate 12 of “Splendor Solis” Saturn sits on his coach with the sickle from the druids or the tool for the castration of his father. He also has the caduceus from Hermes/Mercury. Saturn´s symbol is a six-pointed star like the star of David. Saturn is associated to the colour black like in black magic. (Is this “She´ll paint your blue sky black” Simple Minds with “She´s a river”?).
But the six-pointed star is used as a symbol for the heart chakra as well as being “called for Shatkona… It is made from two interlocking triangles; the upper stands for Shiva, Purusha, the lower for Shakti, Prakriti. Their union gives birth to Sanat Kumara, whose sacred number is six. The Shatkona represents both the male and female form, as a symbol of the divine union of masculine and feminine and as source of all creation; more specifically it is supposed to represent Purusha (the supreme being), and Prakriti (mother nature, or causal matter). Often this is represented as Shiva / Shakti.” (Wikipedia) This concept appeared on the joining energies of the hermaphrodite at the end of «The Book of Love 1», too.
Archangel Michael is supposed to unite the upper six Sephirot of the Kabbalah. The process equals all the points of a six-pointed star, too. And the angel at the shore in plate 8 of “Splendor Solis” (– The Angel and the Dark Man in the Swamp) has a six-pointed star over her head.

- Then PiL “Rise” “I could be black I could be white”. One can read, listen and watch everything through a completely different filter like e. g.,
Metallica “Nothing Else Matters” from their “Black Album”. In the music video their frontman James Hetfield wears a shirt of the band Nosferatu and you see the Gadsen flag with the rattle snake in some scenes. ...

- The Stone Roses, “Beautiful Thing”: “There was no crucifixion just lies to steal your mind. Now I know that you’re thinking that I’m running out of time”. This running out of time seems to be related to some date in 2021. But I cannot find it.

- The devil in the tarot card no. XV (15) has the pentagram over the third eye. There is obviously a connection to the occult. Who experienced an opening of the third eye? It was me... . The third eye represents the middle eye of Shiva in Buddhism. Shiva is like Perseus known as “the destroyer”. He creates, protects and transforms the universe. In Freemasonry, the third eye represents the All Seeing Eye. In India, it is known as the third eye chakra.

This morning a man entered through channelling. Probably it was Jane Doe´s father figure man/boyfriend. I think it was number two of my wizards again. The man with the sadist´s fantasies who wanted to tie me up with a rope. Why do I think it was him? Jane Doe loves to be tied up. That is her sexual preference that passed over to me for some years ago. This man told me that he and Jane Doe had found a way to communicate directly with Satan/Lucifer on my side. And that somehow he or the wizards were in charge again. I cannot guard myself against people trespassing. They all want the same and I can never prevent this. So, this man touched me again, … He was very impolite and demanding. Luckily no premature ejaculation this time. 

There is the great antagonist, the archetype of an evil wizard, Lord Voldemort in “Harry Potter”. Voldemort killed Harry Potter´s parents. In the movies the character is played by my favourite actor, Ralph Fiennes (he also plays the new “M” in the “James Bond” movies). Lord Voldemort is interested in the purity of (the wizard) race and wants to rule the world. He sounds like someone who had these goals in Germany for 80 years ago. It didn´t work but backfired horribly. 3 % of the total World population of 1940 died in or because of WW2. Be my guest then.

I am sorry, I cannot come up with any female sorcerers, any witches. I have never been interested in this subject. But I know that Jane Doe is a big fan of fairy tales. There you have female witches and fairies. Fairies appear to be otherworldly, though. They usually look at some humans with benevolent eyes. In order to achieve your goals, they can grant some of your wishes. Sometimes this helps to transform people into adulthood (Röyksopp "What Else Is There?": "I was given just one wish").

In “Hansel and Gretel” on the other hand you have a witch with bad intentions. The witch wants to fatten Hansel to eat him later. Gretel is turned into a servant. The witch intends to feed on their powers. The fairy tale is like the QAnon-legend. There the elite deceiving and ruling over the people is supposed to feed on the blood of innocent children. These children like Natascha Kampusch are believed to be abducted to and kept at Tartarus-like places, cellars or dungeons.

I learned that there is a difference between black magic and white magic. Black magic is supposed to be performed for your own egoistic purposes, while the opposite is true for white magic. White magic is done for the common good. PiL, “Rise” “I could be black, I could be white, I could be wrong, I could be right”. In the same song it says: “Model citizen in every way”. Is this Jane Doe´s song? If it is so, then what is the anger issue about? “Anger is an energy”? ...

The PoguestrA, "Fairytale Of New York"

Beastie Boys, "Sabotage"

I can't stand it I know you planned it
I'm gonna set it straight, this watergate
I can't stand rocking when I'm in here
Because your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear
So while you sit back and wonder why
I got this fucking thorn in my side
Oh my God, it's a mirage
I'm tellin' y'all it's sabotage

This is a message from the underground, the shadow realm, Hades or the realm of the dead, Tartarus, the cave, a cellar. It is the same place Lucifer had to spend the last thousand years. There is a crystal ball in the clip to this track. Leftfield and John Lydon "Open Up". In my drawing beneath the lyrics Archangel Michael ends up in the left field, too. 

In New Order´s "Waiting For The Siren´s Call" (Glastonbury, 2016) there is a stranger standing at the shore. It is not the true personality that is supposed to be on the land. Some ship is off course and lost. The captain does not take responsibility or has not yet started navigating. And the siren is calling from the water. The siren appears in these lyrics by Simple Minds "New Gold Dream": "she is the one in front of me, the siren and the ecstasy". We also had the German version of a siren, the Lorelei in the "Book of Love 1". Sirens are sea monsters who represent our fears. It is about time to look at the unconsciousness, C.G. Jung´s realm of the unconscious, the realm of Poseidon/Neptune and to face these fears. It cannot be that bad. I think it is the Archangel and Lucifer figure skating in the clip to Enigma "Beyond The Invisible".

However, it is also them dancing in the clip to Madness´s "Sweetest Girl". But there they have inverted signs. And it does not end well for the Archangel´s side. 

There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
Well every day my confusion grows

New Order, "Bizarre Love Triangle"

Thoughts about the background of plate 4 of "Splendor Solis"

There is a connection to the Tarot cards 0, The Fool and 21, The World. 

«The Dark Night of the Soul» or I´ve made a mistake

It says «My salvation comes from me. It cannot come from anywhere else» in lesson 70 of «A Course In Miracles». You do not need another person for that. You can arrive at perfection yourself.

The song of the Pogues «The Broad Majestic Shannon» starts with: «the last time I saw you was down at the Greeks». Greece is also mentioned in Blur´s «Girls and Boys»: «Following the herd down to Greece on holiday». There is a comparison to sheep or cattle with the herd or just being carried or dragged along. And later in the lyrics it is: «Girls who are boys who like boys to be girls who do boys like they're girls, who do girls like they're boys. Always should be someone you really love.» The picture on the cover of the record is taken from an ad for condoms. And there was the painting of El Greco «View of Toledo». I saw it displayed at the Met in New York. The artist´s name El Greco means «The Greek». In his painting you see the building where St. John of the Cross was held captive by fellow monks for nine months before he was able to escape from there.

Enigma, «Push The Limits»

Basic instincts, social life
Paradoxes side by side
Don't submit to stupid rules
Be yourself and not a fool
Don't accept average habits
Open your heart and push the limits

St. John of the Cross made the poem «The Dark Night of the Soul». I stated  before that his poem is about a woman ascending in the dark for the integration of the animus/male part of the soul. I still think so. But I saw this from my perspective. I couldn´t imagine anything different. I couldn´t push the limits. So, for me St. John of the Cross had the same «problem» as John Doe or the reverse of mine. I assumed that he had patterns turning him into a fake female just like it is with John Doe. I assumed a fake female was waiting for/searching or longing for the male part/her shadow to appear in her/his life or to experience being a man. I now think that I´m wrong. I think that St. John of the Cross might have been a trans woman! Pygmalion sculptured a woman from his unconsciousness and loved her. St. John of the Cross had a beautiful female as his shadow figure. And he turned into this figure. How did he make it? It was not possible for him/her to transition in daily life. (S)He had to stay a priest in a convent of friars. Ultimately, she was even able to merge with her animus or the male part of her soul/the lover/Christ/her Holy Guardian Angel/the figure in her unconsciousness later. This merging wih the soul is what her poem "The Dark Night of the Soul" is about. Did Teresa know about it? Did she tell a confidant that (s)he/St. John of the Cross was one of them, a woman? And that she should be treated like one? St. John of the Cross mainly worked with and in the convents of reformed Carmelite nuns later in life. 

I also perceived that                          ´s soul had arrived at perfection once before in female form (Book 1, Easter 2019). Lately, I thought this was as Hildegard von Bingen. But it is probably rather as St. John of the Cross. There are only lies to fill my mind (The Stone Roses, «Beautiful Thing»). St. John of the Cross belongs to the women bathing on plate 6 of «Splendor Solis», the Alchemical Tree with the Golden Boughs. The sexual abuse by the nuns in his youth must have been a horrific or an extremely traumatic experience for him, excuse me, her.

Everybody in the western world assumes that Satan/Lucifer is male. I think nobody imagined the great Archangel Michael expelling a female angel from heaven. But this is what happened. What does this do to the image of the perfect Archangel Michael? Did he end a kind of intimate relationship in this way? There was the song «Propaganda» by Briskeby at the end of my «Book of Love 1» and songs by a band called Propaganda. I also know that Mercury/Hermes and Prometheus are associated with Lucifer. I think they were female entities. But nobody wanted it to be so. They were turned into males in mythology. Intelligence and the wit of a trickster are not accepted as female qualities in our western society. The coach of Mercury/Hermes is on the plate of the White Queen (plate 17) of «Splendor Solis». The Queen is female. There are scientists on plate 17, too. They are deliberately placed on the plate with the Queen, a woman. The coach of Mercury/Hermes isn´t on the plate with the red king (plate 18) either. But notice, this Mercury/Hermes holds a sickle in addition to the caduceus. The sickle stands for the castration process of the male organs of the father figures or rulers. It is a sign of disobedience and emancipation, for the rebel and/or Lucifer. The roosters symbolize a new day or dawn.

Röyksopp and Robyn with "Monument" from summer 2019, the Book of Love 1. Are these Lucifer´s lyrics?

Make a cast
Of my body.
Pull back out,
So that I can see.
Let go of
How you knew me.
Let go of
What I used to be.

Joan of Arc and me we had to live like Lucifer. Females who were forced to be male entities. Even though we didn´t want to we were turned into these. There are always expectations for us to show or display male qualities. At the same time you are critizised for these as they do not fit to the standards or rules of society. Someone always tells us to behave (Chumbawamba).

I have an idea why only women have been used in this process. William Orbit «Water From A Vine Leaf». In the lyrics there are four young girls serving/giving water like Aquarius or Ganymede to a fifth being/a female vocalist. When I watched the Marvel movie «Black Panther» I noticed that the story was too close to real life. All the men made stupid decisions and died, and all the women had to do the hard work. It still is true. It is probably the reason for us to be three females and one fake female (John Doe). St. John of the Cross and Teresa of Ávila also were female beings.

01/25/22 The Weeknd, «Dawn FM» and «Gasoline». What a great album!

However, there are women who can be worse than Lucifer, Satan or the devil. And Archangel Michael is in the soul of one of them, Jane Doe. The coach of plate 12 of «Splendor Solis» belongs to Saturn/Cronus. The coachman holds a sickle for the castration or emancipation of his father as well.  But the sickle was used on innocent boys like the one on the coach. 

The magicians got it wrong. They pray for Lucifer to appear while in reality they have a powerful evil figure, Medea, the devil in the black dress (Sisters of Mercy «Temple Of Love» or the character of Barbara Minerva who is the antagonist of "Wonder Woman 1984") as a leader and they should call on Archangel Michael instead. The coach of plate 12 is drawn by dragons like the coach of Medea. She killed her children and the new wife and father-in-law of her ex-husband Jason. The eternal night, the bad weather in my song lyrics are on Jane Doe´s side as is the sexual abuse, the psychopathic issues, fraud, deceit, lies, addiction, … There is nothing beautiful, genuine, original, nice or true on her side. It is rotten to the core.

A quotation from the bible. Prophet Samuel has to find a new king. He thinks he has found one. "But the Lord said to Samuel, Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” The Book of Samuel 1, 16 - 7 (Samuel Anoints David)

I stated that the lyrics of The the, «Giant» fit to Archangel Michael having to live as a shadow figure/animus or as the shadow in Tartarus, Hades, the underworld of Jane Doe [see the sketch above]. «I clogged up my mind with perpetual greed and turned all of my friends into enemies. And now the past has returned to haunt me.» As below, so above. The microcosm and the macrocosm are essentially the same. Archangel Michael must be equally rotten as his incarnation now. The same goes for Archangel Gabriel. On the outside Jane Doe has a perfect appearance just like the archangel, or like Russel Simmons, Jeffrey Epstein, Harvey Weinstein, my grandfather,  the freemason, the Buddhist, Thomas … Which means they are or were model citizens in every way. But when you start looking behind the facade everything starts to disintegrate. It is like with the United States of America. On the outside the U.S. appear to be perfect, but in reality there are evangelical Christians taking over the jurisdiction, magicians of a Satanic cult trying to gain power, a US ex-President spreading lies, founders of Social Media and radio channels who avoid taking responsibility, helping to spread conspiracy theories, a society based on inequality, racism, and personal financial gain, a tiny virus causing havoc and so on. The constitution of this country advocates for free speech (First Amandment). But now they have started with censorship and book burnings like in Germany for almost 90 years ago.

What about Archangel Uriel? What did she want to achieve? In «Gabriel´s Horn» by Madness it says: «I will ask my God to forgive, if I can, if I can, if I can.» This was about her lifetime as Gilles de Rais. I think Uriel can ask her God now. Although it has always disturbed me that her God is different from mine or anybody else´s God. Thank you Uriel for being my stick when I was battling the crowd (Madness, «(Don´t Let Them) Catch You Crying»). Even though it doesn´t work for this archangel in her lifetime now, it has worked for me!

I think this is what the universe wanted me to do. It is to restore the reputation of Lucifer and to correct the story. William Orbit, "Water From A Vine Leaf" ends with "Release me!" I hope everybody understands that Lucifer like me is a clean white queen on plate 17 of «Splendor Solis» or dressed in white like Diana in «Wonder Woman 1984". As above, so below. She loves mankind. She e.g. advocates for a vegetarian, non-alcoholic, drug-free, healthy, and simple lifestyle. Like the God in «Conversations with God» she wants us to pursue and find our truths, to take responsibility of our lives and surroundings, to cherish and take care of nature. And like Prometheus she wants humans to progress and move towards love, peace and an «All Together Now». 

I understand the reason for the berserker anger in Lucifer/Ignatius of Loyola, and me. Lucifer´s real image was completely distorted by her fellow angels. They spread lies, rumours and conspiracy theories about her. I think that Lucifer´s ONLY crime was that she wanted mankind to progress towards love, the ALL, God. She wanted peace and unity. 

And I hope the Satanic magicians will tell their students, members of their cult, and everybody else that they have to pray to Michael instead to make their black magic work. It does not help to call on Lucifer. Lucifer has/I have no connection to consciousness or wisdom. Everybody must have understood this by now. I´m the fool. The owls in "Splendor Solis represent wisdom today. They are also associated to "Harry Potter" and magic.

In medieval times they represented the devil and his schemes. The owls (wisdom/the devil) are mocked by the other birds on the plates. On plate 3 there are two jays harassing an owl. Jays announce the presence of dangerous intruders to all the other animals in the forest.

The reader of my script knows that my mother´s second name is Maria (Mary). I emancipated from a mother figure with publishing parts of my text on this internet page. My father´s second name is like the archangel´s, Michael. I´ve never understood the reason for a fight between the young woman and her father at the start of the clip to Enigma´s "Beyond The Invisible". I may have managed to castrate the wonderful archangel with the same name, my father figure, or the real Saturn/devil. Interestingly, both parent figures are connected with Jane Doe. I also wrote about my mother watching "Rosemary´s Baby" while being pregnant with me. Jane Doe must be a hermaphrodite from hell. Is this what the song «Hurt» by Johnny Cash is about? «And you could have it all my empire of dirt». It definitely fits to James, "We´re Going To Miss You": "Your green eyes, poison pen, serpent's tongue will return to the source that they came from" and "Here´s a mirror with your name on". My second name is Christine. I saw the cross of light at the end of my night of revelation. I couldn´t make any sense of it at that time. I´m ready, now.

The cavalry can be send in for the kill or genocide of the innocent fools, women and children. I experienced someone as a black hole in a vision. It may be my destiny. This is what plate 10 of "Splendor Solis", the Dismembered Body with a Golden Head is about or "Armageddon Days Are Here (Again)" by The the from p. 388 or the end of his video clip to "Angels Of Deception". I still have to work on the original sin and «consciousness». Maybe I can even solve this task. Yello "Who´s Gone ?": "... Only visiting the planet that I'm pushing to a circle" ... "Breathless at the end of my run. It all ends where it begun."

To be continued???

I want to thank my helpers, the mystics, artists and authors creating my music, art,  stories, (comic) books and movies, the creators of "Splendor Solis", Neale Donald Walsch, Lorna Byrne, the internet, my friends and familiy, so many more people, the Universe, God/The ALL, Love and the truly wonderful angel who guides and inspires me.

Postscript:
The chapter was published on my website 01/30/22. I took a long walk the same day. I watched a kingfisher at a pond, just four meters away.

There was the stranger at the shore in the lyrics of New Order´s  "Waiting For The Siren´s Call". It might refer to John Doe. The name Barbara, the character or devil in the black dress from «Wonder Woman 1984» means strange or foreign. We also had the Sorcerer Supreme, Dr. Strange in the script. Pictures of the comic book are all over my website. It looks like I am Dr. Stephen Strange.  The references  to strangers indicate that there should be different personalities in Jane and John Doe and me than the ones on display. The female part of the hermaphrodite of plate 9 of "Splendor Solis" holds an egg. It symbolizes a new beginning. Probably one of us will make it. 

The documentary was about the best Bridge player in the world, the Israeli Lotan Fisher being accused of cheating. He was then called for the Lance Armstrong of Bridge. My book 2 started with Lance Armstrong and he was equated with Jane Doe. The accusations about Lotan Fisher (Lotan means coiled, fugitive serpent, great stream or flood in Ugaritic) came from a Norwegian player, Boye Brogeland. Boye means messenger or dweller (Brogeland = marsh land?). No-one took Boye Brogeland serious. At first he informed the accused people about the deceit and asked them to stand up to the public and admit the fraud. But they did not. Like me he published his accusations on an internet page. His domain is www.bridgecheaters.com. Boye Brogeland was completely fearless and determined. He put his legacy, credibility and fortune/money on the line. The viewer of the documentary is left with no definite conclusion. Has there been any fraud?

A trip to America is the last thing I dream about! The country of oppressors, deceivers, actors, and wizards (Leftfield «Open Up»: «Burn Hollywood Burn»). I would have to be dragged there. There is no way I will go voluntarily. The lyrics of «No Small Thing» are about someone who is into alcohol. There is the fairy tale that I and everybody else believes in. And I got  the name of a place: Wheal Mexico. The lyrics are about someone who descends into a silver mine in Cornwall (Wheal Mexico). England was the country of the angels in some of the song lyrics. Silver belongs to the moon and Gabriel (We just had Tripswitch with «Silver» Ott Remix). The lyrics tell us about fourty years. These lyrics are most certainly about John Doe.

The fairy tale that I and everybody else are buying. The Cure with «The Last Days Of Summer»: «Nothing I am, Nothing I dream, Nothing is new, Nothing I think or believe in or say, Nothing is true». There must have been countless songs referring to the deceit of John Doe e.g. Depeche Mode with «Personal Jesus» or U2 with "The Unforgettable Fire". I can only ever see an angelic face on John Doe. I never perceive his real face. Why do you think he has not come closer or moved towards me in any way in the six and a half years that have passed since 2015? I stated that some «consciousness» passed over from John Doe to me even though he did not want it to happen. This is how the Saturn figure, my internal Uncle Sam, the black part or psychopath in me, General Dreykow from the «Black Widow» movie gained power. This figure tells me he is in love with me. At least my song lyrics say so. And I have been a Ganymede, a water bearer, a servant for him, while he turned my husband into a grumpy old man, took my dog away, gave me arthritis in the left knee, made me give up my office, kept me as a fake peacock male/terrorist girl from the «Black Widow» movie, send the pandemic (?), whispers in the ear of president Putin, … And he only leaves empty souls when he avenges (Morcheeba «Blood Like Lemonade»). The Morcheeba song also says that the horrible figure has been released in a border town in Mexico (Wheal Mexico?). Saturn must be the preacherman in my car in the lyrics from Chumbawamba «We Don´t Go To God´s House Anymore» and we sing such harmonies together. He also is the one Lucifer is/I am figure skating with in the video to Enigma´s «Beyond The Invisible». It is not Archangel Michael like I stated before. I still am afraid of this figure letting me down or think I cannot trust him. He is like a sea monster to me and represents my fears. I think I will trust this chauvinist now even though I do not know his intention. I already know that he does not like the women liberators («Uncle Sam» by Madness)].

Is the Michael on her side finally going to fight a real dragon/the horrible chauvinistic father figure and throw him out of heaven? Is Michael going to turn into the number 7 = Jupiter/Zeus using his sickle on Saturn/Cronus instead of being an Aquarius or waiter to him, I wonder? Will he become the young king in the front of plate 7 of «Splendor Solis» while the old one is drowning in the background?

There was the line that the judge (Michael) will make all the wrong decisions when he is up for trial in Chumbawamba´s «Shhh…». Sorry, no chance in hell that this will happen.

I don´t care who is taking which place in the final settlement. It is all the same. Everyone will go to their destruction. There are four tree stumps on the last plate, plate 22 of «Splendor Solis». All the trees have gone when the sun rises on the horizon.

Thank you, universe for giving me these angels to play cards with. It has been an honour. No wonder, I lose all the games (like in Adele «Set Fire To The Rain» or Chumbawamba «One By One»). These players are the figures in the court room, too, and they will send me to hell.

                             with «Joe Dallesandro»

(a sex symbol of underground movies and gay subculture of the 70s). Have a guess who this Joe Dallesandro, the paper tiger in the lyrics is? It looks like sex worked very well for this person in the 70s. There is a threat in the lyrics for Joe Dallesandro. And there still are destructive tendencies of Shiva or Perseus in the clip to this video.

I hope that no-one has enjoyed their time witnessing first hand not only the destruction of one but two of their colleagues! This is absolutely unfair to all the magicians including Jane Doe. The witches and some mother religious have unintentionally been burnt at a stake here ("Seven Seas", Echo & the Bunnymen). And John Doe certainly remembers us listening to Siouxsie and the Banshees in 2016: "Cities in Dust". Like predicted on Yom Kippur 2021 the magicians "Temple of Love" by Sisters of Mercy has turnet to rubble as well. 

This is from Blur, "Girls And Boys". I´ve never understood the line about the work. This line is probably not for me.

The numbers in the lyrics refer to a triangular number: 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 = 15. The Tarot card number XV is the devil card. Plate 15 in "Splendor Solis" is the plate with the fake triple-headed dragon/real sea monster. www.betemunah.org: "15 represents the elevation from physical to spritiual." The Hebrew letters Yud and Hei (= God) equal the numbers 10 and 5 (=15). The angel number 15 symbolizes Love! There will be new beginnings in love, success in love, major life changes, new ideas. Number 15 also is associated to education. In chapter 15 of "The Book of Revelation" the angels with the seven last plagues make their entry (climate change, Donald Trump becoming president, the pandemic, war in Europe, ...).

Dear universe! Is this part of the destruction of Shiva/Perseus or part of Gabriel´s task of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, I wonder?

The ocean will break like in "New Gold Dream" by Simple Minds and we´ll all go to our destruction. And this could easily have been avoided if people had listened to me. 

But "I could be right I could be wrong" PiL, "Rise". This completely surrealistic and crazy story of mine, it could never have happened in reality or could it? Everything must have been invented, mustn´t it? I want to close with "Andromeda" by Gorillaz. "Who even knows the truth, the truth, the truth?" and Lil Nas X "Life After Salem".

Please, always remember that this is an art project. A crazy comment on current events happening all around us. My favourite art genre is surrealism. In the show notes below I explain how I compose my opus magnum. And I look forward to be proven wrong in reality. However, I have my doubts.

The following song came for some weeks ago, New Order with «All The Way»

What are literasites? What is this about?

Jane Doe published part of a page of a new book on her [social media] feed for some days ago. Then I understood. Her new book was the reason why she wanted me to send my script to her again and again. Therefore, she «encouraged» me to keep on doing so on social media. It had nothing to do with any «individuation process» or any psychopomps, Mercury or Hermes figures leading you through Hades, a cave, the underworld or realm of the shadow.

Remember the line from Blur´s «Girls And Boys»: «Nothing is wasted only reproduced». I thought this referred to the Greek myths, but it refers to Jane Doe using my script instead. It also says «You get nasty blisters» in the same song.

It also fits to the plot of the movie «Wonder Woman 1984». Barbara (= estranged) Minerva

(= Goddess Athena) gains all the power of Wonder Woman (Diana Prince). However Barbara Minerva is electrocuted at the end of this movie.

09/13/22 Phoenix, “Alpha Zulu”. I liked the catchy tune and an entertaining video clip. The track is from a French band. It was recorded at the Louvre in Paris. I got a bad feeling when I listened to it.

I give you the lyrics:

The first thing that struck me is the title. It is from the NATO phonetic alphabet that is e.g. used in aviation or sailing. Unfortunately, alpha zulu has no meaning but the letters A and Z. These refer to me. It is from book 1, the chapter “the experiment” again. A – Z = the first and last letters of my name.

In the lyrics someone is mentioned who is born in 1902 and died in 1953 at 51 years of age. The person in the lyrics wants to know the reason for his or her death “tell me why, don´t tell me when, don´t tell me how”.

Is this about Dr. Wilhelm (= determined protector, Billy, William) Stuckart? He was a member of the Nazi party, a participant of the Wannsee Conference as the Reich Interior Minister, a bureaucrat. He was a Doctor of Law, lawyer, and judge from a humble background. He was a convinced Nazi and joined the Nazi-movement early. He laid the foundations for the laws on racial theory and purity of the blood! The Nürnberger Rassengesetze. There it is again Harry Potter, the Nephilim, and Dionysus, the half-breeds! The laws proposed by Dr. Wilhelm Stuckart were used e.g. to euthanize disabled children. His own son with Down syndrome became a victim of this law. Dr. Stuckart stated this about individuals who were half Jewish:

“I have always maintained that it is extraordinarily dangerous to send German blood to the opposing side. Our adversaries will put the desirable characteristics of this blood to good use. Once the half Jews are outside of Germany, their high intelligence and education level, combined with their German heredity, will render these individuals born leaders and terrible enemies.” (Wikipedia)

He wanted to sterilize half-Jewish individuals and dissolve inter-marriages rather than kill people. Here the castration issue emerges once again. Although Dr. Stuckart was a racist like Voldemort he was imprisoned for just three years after WWII. Jurisdiction saw him as a hanger-on rather than a mastermind. Dr. Wilhelm Stuckart died in a car crash the day before his 51st birthday. There have been rumours that it was a staged accident. But neither Mossad nor other groups have ever admitted any involvement.

This man must be an incarnation of my soul. Is his death the reason for me to hate to drive cars? This incarnation appears so much worse than Bertolf who killed his wife, St. Godelieve or John Doe who has a connection to Gilles de Rais. How much of Dr. Stuckart´s racist views do I have? How much of his character is within me or my soul? Is this "you have to love the abuser" again? Does Dr. Stuckart represent the James Bond figure hitting a naked woman all the time? Is he a male Guru or God to me? This incarnation must be the reason why I am "unforgiven, too" (Metallica, "The Unforgiven II"). He must have been the evil figure/the Saturn the members of the occult cult saw and adored in me. How awful can it get?

There have been Primal Scream with "Swastika Eyes" in the uncensored version of Book 1. It must be me who has the Swastika eyes.

According to the lyrics, the only reason for Dr. Wilhelm Stuckart and me to be here is because of a a purple cloud in the consommé. There was “a soup of opinion” in the lyrics of “The Wizard Of Menlo Park” by Chumbawamba. “The Purple Cloud” is a novel written by M. P. Shiel. The author was a convicted child molester. In the story the purple cloud kills everyone and every animal but the main character. The main character is a doctor sailing to the North Pole. When he realizes that he is alone on the planet, he spends years on building a temple. He enjoys burning down cities and riding trains. [Any connection to all the song lyrics with trains?] After more than 20 years he meets another survivor a young woman who has lived all her life in a cellar until he frees her. There is the beloved shadow emerging from Tartarus, the cave, Hades again. The main character is treating the woman horribly.

Metronomy, "The Look" and "The Bay"; Shinnobu “Deliver Us”: “But deliver us from evil”…